# 27 — INTO THE DESERT
Dear family, friends, and loved ones — In just a few hours, we will part ways for my entrance into the seminary. It has been a little over five months since I was notified of my acceptance to St. Michael’s Abbey, and — honestly — this has been a long period of anticipation. This has been my agony in the garden. This has been my “goodbye tour.” I did my best to give as much of myself as I could to my church community, my friends, and my family. I spent several hours each week assisting at Mass as an altar server, lector, pianist, and cantor. I visited my friends and caught up with those whom I haven’t seen in a while. I met several others during my third mission-pilgrimage to Jamaica in collaboration with the Missionaries of the Poor. There is a lot more that I could have done, but I feel at peace with what I did this past spring and summer. I did all of these because I love you all. You are all members of one body, the Church, with Jesus watching over us and continually sending the Holy Spirit down upon us.
Although I won’t be able to do those things for you in the same way, I will be entering the seminary to love you in a more subtle way. This will be like Jesus’ retreat into the desert. This formation will be my scourging at the pillar. It will be a long, difficult, and painful process of dying to self, but with my gaze on the heavenly banquet. I can only hope and dream of becoming a priest in the future, but for now I will joyfully and gratefully enjoy this adventure, one day at a time.
Please pray for the perseverance, protection, and strength of me, my classmates, and fellow confreres in formation for the Holy Priesthood. If you see my friends, please remind them that they are united in prayer with their brother in Christ. If you see my family, please reassure them that the Lord is watching over them and their son. If you see me at St. Michael’s Abbey, please accept my quiet and hidden acknowledgment of you and expression of gratitude for your presence and support.
This isn’t goodbye. If the Lord wills it, then we will see each other again. In the meantime, let us continue growing in the virtues of faith, hope, and love. Let us turn to Our Lady and ask for her intercession and watchful care. Let us look to all the angels and saints for heavenly wisdom and inspiration.
My deepest gratitude for all your love, prayers, and support.
DEO GRATIAS, ET GRATIA ET PAX VOBISCUM TOTUS!
~ Matthew Esguerra